Archive for the Category »Amore «
I came across this story in Facebook and for some reason, it had touched me. The story is very touching and may the married and the soon to be married couple learn from this very beautiful yet sad story. Enjoy reading!
MARRIAGE
When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce.. I raised the topic calmly.
She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Dew. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.
She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew.
When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce.
She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.
She requested that everyday for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning.. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Dew about my wife’s divorce conditions.. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully..
My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time.. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.
On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy.
I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead.. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.
Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.
At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.
That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.
The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.
It’s my first time to visit Cebu for Sinulog and boy was I really excited! I have been looking forward to this trip since December and have even asked someone for our accommodation there (Cebu). But, something happened and that someone backed out the day before our departure. Worse, when I called up the hotels that day, they were fully booked. FAST FORWARD for I don’t want to talk about it further. Tish!
January 15, 2010 (Friday)
- My beau and I left CDO at around 11am - 12noon and expected to arrive in Cebu at around 7pm. Both of us were worried already as to where we should stay for the night. We contacted friends but to no avail, they can’t helped us either.
- Around 7pm, as expected, we arrived at the Cebu port. It was raining hard outside so we have to wait until the rain would turn into drizzle. Alas, the rain slowed down and we decided to go.
- Outside the port, we hailed a taxi cab and then instructed the driver to a hotel that my beau had stayed when he visited Cebu last year. It was at Sarrosa International Hotel. With fingers crossed, I went to the front desk and inquired a room. Thankfully, there was an available room which cost us Php 3,100 with free breakfast. Although it was a bit pricey, we didn’t have much choice so we booked it.
- Luckily, the front desk woman told us that a vacant and much cheaper room was available the next day. So, we reserved that room and decided to transfer there before 12 noon.
January 16, 2010 (Saturday)
- Had a late breakfast at the hotel and proceeded to work and send reports as well as checked our ATMs.
- Decided to go to SM and shopped. Jev decided to allow me to shop using his credit card as a gift for my birthday. I bought a Mango shirt (the design I have been wishing to have - plain shirt with the Mango print), a charm bracelet with the letters of my name dangling on it, bleach catastrophe shirts and a So F.A.B. sandals. weeee! My smile was sooo big!

had lunch at sbarro's
- decided to join the procession happening on that day. The funny thing was, we don’t have any idea on the route of the procession so we just followed the people walking on the streets! hahaha! However, we didn’t finish it though as we were so tired and somebody said it’s going to finish at around 8pm.
- At around 5pm, we decided to go to Ayala and wait for Jev’s friends there (Aron Ofngol, Bentot Ofngol). To kill the time, we strolled there and I happily took snapshots of him as I already have my own set of pictures there during my last visit in Cebu.




here's the two of us in Ayala
- After that, we had our dinner at Kenny Rogers (this where we’ve met up with the Ofngol brothers, too)
- Jev badly needs to go to the CR so we (Jev, Bentot, Aron and I) decided to go to our hotel and let Jev do his thing at the same time wait for Bel Govico to arrive.

a view outside our hotel room

here's a picture of us with Bel, finally :)
- Bel was our designated tour guide as he knows the place well since he studies in Cebu. We decided to go to Fuente, Osmeña then headed to Crown Regency Hotel to try the Edge Coaster.

@ the busy street of Fuente
- we headed up to Crown Regency Hotel and met up some of their MMV neighbors. I think they were the Alquisalas Family. Not that sure, though. But I heard Jev mentioned the name.

a view from the elevator going up to the 38th floor

with their neighbors

@ the 38th floor of the hotel. we're in between with the telescopes and behind us is the railing for the edge coaster
- I really wanted to try the edge coaster so I had to convince Jev to ride it with me. He was really scared but in the end, I got what I want.
His friends tried the edge coaster too! It was really fun and worth the cost! No KIDDING!

here's us trying the edge coaster. it's before I tilted the coaster.
- then, we at around 1am, we proceeded to Cebu’s IT Park and strolled there for a bit. Rested at KFC and bid our goodbyes at around 2am.
January 17, 2010 (Sunday)
- Jev and I decided to have a side trip in Bohol (to save our money as I need to celebrate for my birthday, too). We decided to visit my relatives in Panggangan, Calape, Bohol.
- Had videoke sessions at Ate Bebeth’s house and was amazed by how Visayan my half Filipino - half German cousins spoke.
- Was about to go for a swim in their sanctuary but unfortunately, it was low tide.

arrival at Bohol
January 18, 2010 (Monday)
- Jev and I had to wake up early since we’re going to Dumog, Island. It’s a white island somewhere in Tubigon, Bohol.
- We ate our breakfast and lunch there and enjoyed picking up shells as well as other sea creatures. BTW, the ones we’ve picked were the viands we had for breakfast and lunch. I love the food! Sa-ang (a big shell) really tastes good!
- And, I get to eat a lot of fresh sea foods as well as fruits!

on our way to the island

a picture of how the weather was during that day.


luckily, it didn't rain :)
- after our Dumog Island trip, we visited my grand mother (father’s side) as well as my father’s older siblings. We ate our dinner there too but didn’t stay that long as we have to travel early the next day.
Januray 19, 2010 (Tuesday)
- woke up extremely early so that we can catch up the earliest ride back to Cebu.
- though our flight was still in the afternoon, we decided to go back early so that we can visit the Sto Niño Church to pray.
- lit our candles in the Church, heard mass but we’re late
- visited Magellan’s cross
- ate a sumptuous eat-all-you-can at Cabalen’s
- did our last minute shopping and pasalubong buying at SM
- stayed in SM while killing the time
- and finally, by 4:40 PM, we’ve arrived safely in CDO.


buhbye Cebu, till our next trip!

greeting Cagayan de Oro with our tan (blame it on Bohol)
Despite some mishaps, I did enjoy the trip and I’m looking forward to the next one!

In every relationship, shortcomings usually do exist; stressful times you cannot resist. My relationship with my guy is just like that. Occasionally, we experience stressful times too. However, with those stressful times, a lot of learnings have been earned.
See, for the most part of our two-year relationship, I have always been the taker, the demander and the winner in every argument. It’s rare in our situation that I would step down and understand him or I would ask for forgiveness. It has never been that way, for the most part. And now, I have realized it should not be that way. Sometimes, I have to understand, sometimes I have to give in, sometimes I have to respect and sometimes I have to step down and let him live a life he wants. These things have never crossed my mind, not until today. This is because I have always been busy thinking about myself and have been busy being the brat that I was.
Last week has been really stressful for the both of us. I have demanded things…things that are actually present already, which I failed to acknowledge and appreciate. For this reason, he could not understand me anymore because the things I have demanded have been heartily given already. Why in the world would I demand it again? We had on and off fights regarding the issue to the point of breaking up already. He’d gone tired but I don’t blame him though. He’s been stressed out for two years through following all my demands and without his demands being heard. As I have said, I have always been the taker and was seldom the giver.
Selfish? I know.
Unfair? I know.
Fortunately, we had a talk about our shortcomings and, boy, was I amazed with all my shortcomings! I have lots actually. Not just one or two but MANY. I have failed to see him. I have failed to acknowledge and appreciate him. Mostly, I have failed to treat him as a person and respect his existence. I was too busy with myself getting everything I want to the point that I have forgotten to look out to my partner and listen to his needs. I have been one-sided in our relationship and have never taken him into consideration. While sitting on my laurels, I have forgotten him. While enjoying the success, I have neglected him.
Mean? I know.
Heartless? I know.
See, being the brat that I am, it’s going to be hard to adjust myself to this situation. A part of me will always rebel to get the thing that I would demand in the near future. But I do hope I can manage to fight with myself for him. I hope I can outwit myself and have room for understanding whenever he would deprive me of such demands. I pray I can be very understanding when my demands are not met. I pray I can always outsmart my bratty attitude because in the most part, I can’t. Yet, I do hope you’ll help me pray.
For this my friends, I have learned that it’s not because you are the girl, you should always be the taker and the demander. Sometimes, you have to step down and look out to your partner’s needs. Sometimes, you have to listen and most of the time, you have to treat your partner as a person and not just a somebody. It’s a must to respect each other’s being and understand each other’s short comings. After all, we’re not perfect and we’ll never be.
Dear,
We have reached the second year already. I know our relationship is not perfect, not even close. But I do hope the love we share is enough to make you stay amidst the frequent shaking of the sail. You do not have to prove anything to me already. I know you well enough and I know how much you love me.
I know there were times when I took your feelings for granted and have been very selfish and proud. I know there were also times when I drove you away just because you won’t do what I want. For those times, I am sorry.
Thank you for understanding my shortcomings and for loving me despite my imperfections. Thank you for taking care of me, for standing by my side when I am down and for believing in me. Thank you for everything, Jev!
I love you a lot. And I intend to keep you as long as you want me too!


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